The News I "WASN'T" waiting for

Well the verdict finally came in on the treatment plan for me. Let me tell ya, I wasn't too happy. Chemo, and radiation both UGH!!! I was so upset(MORE LIKE MAD) when the Dr told me the news. I don't feel sick, and I surely don't want to look sick! Just when I thought I was over the hurdle, a wall jumps out in front of me. Needless to say I've had a rough couple of days. Sitting at home trying to picture all the different scenario's of how I will look, and feel. The mind can play terrible tricks on you. I was mostly concerned with how the kids would react about this whole thing. Seeing me possible bald and sick. So I decided just to come out, and tell them. Once they came home from school they were sitting at the table doing homework, so I told them I went to the Dr's today, and I have to take some medicine to keep the infection from coming back, and some of the side effects could make me sick or loose my hair. My daughter started laughing, (I think she thought I was joking), but my son just looked at me with those big eye's welling up with tears, and said "oh no momma you're going to be bald?" I said maybe buy, it will grow back, he gave out a sigh of relieve, and said ok good. They kept fooling around, so I said to them both, "I'm trying to explain to you what is going on, and they just stopped, and looked at me. I said do you want me to keep things from you? Or tell you what is going on. They both said "no momma we want you to tell us." I said you're both old enough to understand, and I don't want to keep things from you, plus I need your prayer's, because God listens very closely when little kids pray. So they both said we will pray for you mom. The next day when I pick them up from school my son said, " hey mom when do you start taking the medicine that's going to make your hair fall out?" I said, I'm not sure buddy, I go to the Dr's on Thursday. So I continued to explain to them some more about the the side effects of chemo, like being tired or getting sick. I stressed to them the importance of washing their hands, and coughing in their sleeve's, and staying away from someone who's sick. Then my son asked what is the name of your infection? I said it's in my chest, he replied I know that, but what's it called.( I figured he is not going to let this go) so I paused for a minute, and thought I can keep on hiding the truth from them ,or come clean now. So I decided to tell them what my "infection" was called. I said well Ricky momma had breast cancer. He said " momma you have breast cancer?" I said I "had" breast cancer the Dr took it all out with the surgery, and that is why I need the medicine so it will never come back. He said oh ok, and I continued on to say God really blessed momma, with finding this infection early so we need to thank him every day in our prayers, because some women don't find it in time. He said we will momma. So all this time I was so concerned with letting them hear the"Cancer" word, and just like that they understood, and moved on to the next subject. I wonder if I was really protection them, or me having to deal with this issue in my life. Now that it's out in the open I feel so much better. What will be, will be, I can't control what happens all I can do is pray that I have no side effects from the chemo ,and this ugly disease never returns. I surely know my prayer life has been strengthen ever since I was diagnosed, and many strained relationships in my family have been healed. It just a shame it takes a trauma in a family for things to fall into place, but in "ALL" things give thanks! Thank you Lord!