The Unvailing

Well now it's Halloween night and it was quite fitting for the bandages to come off on this day. We had to take them off so the air could help heal the incision. No stitches, I was glued shut and stere strips were applied. When I first looked down all I could do was cry. I felt so ugly, and mutilated. How could my husband look at me and see love? All the ripples of skin and craters in my chest from digging out all the lymph nodes.I'm still so swollen. I looked like a 13 year old boy on one side and a 41 year old women on the other. Once he seen me all he did was hold me, and say, "I love you, and I don't care if you have no breasts", "You're alive and well and that's all I care about!" I know that is how he feels, but the shock of seeing myself for the first time was very painful to me. It really sunk in that hey, I HAD Breast cancer. Now I'm ok it's gone, I will heal, but we still are waiting for the pathology report clearing the lymph nodes of any cancer. Then I will have the reconstruction surgery done. The scar should heal nice and slim and when all is said and done the scar might only be underneath the breast. That's what I'm hoping for anyway. The more I look at it I get used to it, and it just reminds me how much God loves me enough to spare me from this terrible disease. Thank God we found it early, thank God the dye didn't travel, because now it can NEVER come back again. My prayer was from the beginning was for this cancer to be gone and never to return. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers!!!