The Next 6 Month

Met with the oncologist on Thursday, and I finally got my treatment schedule. Ok ya ready? I'll try to keep it all straight. First up is 6 treatments of chemotherapy. Starting Dec 7Th, every 3 weeks, for a total of 18 weeks long. Next up is radiation(starting after chemo mid March.)Everyday straight for 6weeks (Except week ends.) So my reconstruction process will not start for at least 6 months. There goes my plans to attend the hair show in Cancun mid April. Maybe next time. The Dr. also led me to a women who offers "cold cap" services. This is a cap you wear an hour before, during, and 4 hours after chemo to stop the chemo from circulating into the hair follicle's. She swears by it, and has used it twice herself. It seems like such an effort, and for what hair? Is it really worth it? Sometimes I wonder why I'm more concerned with loosing my hair then my breast. I figure I can hide my breast under clothes, but my hair not so much. I know I can always get fitted for a wig, but I don't want to wear a wig! I don't want to look like a cancer patient! No hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes. I don't want people to look at me ,and think " ahh poor lady she has cancer." So I will try what ever I can to keep looking like ME! I can't imagine not having my dark eyebrows. Ever since I was little that was the first thing you notice on me was my dark eyebrows and light brown hair. I know some people will say "it's only hair, it will always grow back", and I know this, but it doesn't make it any easier dealing with the possibility of being bald, and the Dr said it wouldn't start growing back for at least 3-4 weeks after my last chemo treatment. that puts me well into May before it even starts to grow. I really hope this cold cap works. It gives women some hope that not everything has to change in their lives. There is some hope to hold onto, even if it does seam silly. It's our identity, it's what we see in the mirror ever morning. I know there are some women out there that would be bald the rest of their lives if it meant being cancer free. For that I'm truly grateful to God, that mine was detected early and this is only an preventative measure. It still doesn't make it any easier. Although my Dad is bald, and he sure is a handsome fellow! Now I just pray I make it through all the treatments with little to no side effects. staying healthy is my top priority during these winter months.